Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ethics in Friendship

CH: So, I wanted to talk about friendship....and I just want it to say for the record, I don't mind "copycats" so long as they give credit where credit is due. If a friend of mine decides that they like an idea that I have...so much that they want to do it too....just say 'hey - great idea! I think I'm gonna do that too'....then I say - 'great! good luck with that, i hope it works out for you :)' And then it works both ways....if my friend has an idea that I like, I say - 'hey! great idea...i really like it, I think I'm gonna do one too'...so I have then openly acknowledged that they had the idea first, and now I'm going to do the same because it's a great idea and it makes sense.

Now...had I had an idea and that "friend" went and copied my idea without acknowledging that I gave them that idea, and on top of it did not even share with me the fact that they were doing it at any point....I find that a bit rude......

...but maybe that's just me?

JH: The funny thing is that of everyone we know who has a blog now, I was the first! I started mine on October 1, 2008. I thought back to my very first followers and those were the people who started their blogs AFTER they began following me. All but one of them thanked me for the idea, which was very nice of them :)

At least I didn't have someone steal my entire business- from initial plan, to implementation, to marketing strategies, and then to my clients! It's absolutely shameless, and you are a wonderful person for having taken the higher road rather than taken their business down the way they were trying to do to you.

It's just sad (and scary!) to think that this type of person found a niche in your life up until this point; having babysat your child and taking part of events in Avery's memory. You should have been able to trust someone in that position :( Instead, they were gearing up to stab you in the back.

I'm not trying to pull an "I told you so", but for the record, everyone around you saw this coming long before it came to a head. We caught the slight nuances that a trusting person like yourself couldn't see. And when I say "we" I'm talking about your friends (both new and old), your family, your fiance ... that has to mean something in itself!

Just be glad you're rid of the toxic person and do what you do best- Avery James Photography!

CH: Just one of the many reasons I think you're the best :) :) And you're right...I've gotten nothing but "I told you so's" from just about everyone I know that's close in my life....it's a bit embarassing because I feel like I'm usually a pretty good judge of people....but I think Avery's involvement in anything has constantly blinded me in many situations (not just the one at hand) and I am adamant about seeing the good in people and making excuses for the bad. I don't think I'll change that in myself though because of this, I think I'll just have to suffer through the next "I told you so" that comes along is all....

I totally forgot about your blog coming from waaaay back in the day...you should do a special one year anniversary celebration when it comes around!...and I think you did have it first....wasn't positive because I know Blanca had hers way before mine too - but I couldn't remember the chronology of the two....I know I got the idea of my photography blog from a friend [at the time] because I just hadn't yet thought of putting one up for my business.....but when she noted it, I thought it was such a great idea! And I said so. And I even worked with her on how I should do mine and get it set up and the gadgets and everything...she was a huge help. :) I'm glad I had enough sense though to acknowledge that she had a great idea and I was thankful that she shared it with me. :)

Oh well...I guess no one is perfect, we all have our flaws - I know I have mine....I think I tend to be pretty stubborn...and when I get something in my head, I don't let it go. And I think I tend to hold grudges for longer than necessary...and I can be very selfish....if I don't want to do something, I probably won't do it...but I'm also trying to work on that as well.........

Have you ever thought openly about your flaws? I think it's healthy to acknowledge our flaws....and TRY and fix them :) What would you say yours are?

JH: I have absolutely no qualms with admitting my flaws! Let's see ... I am horribly stubborn, I feel guilt over everything (which drives Joe nuts!), I'm judgmental and indecisive. And I guess the topper is that I don't always see these things as flaws.

My stubbornness leads to me sticking to my guns. My unjustified feelings of guilt keep me humble and wanting to reach out to humanity. My tendency to judge keeps negative elements out of my life. My indecision allows others to take a stand.

It's all about finding balance :)


inkOBSESSIONdesigns said...

I agree. I think it is rude. I wouldn't mind if a friend said "Oh I loved that idea so much! I hope you don't mind but I did it too..." but to just copy and not say anything? Not cool. :(

anudivya said...

No, that is not just you Avery. I think it was just plain rude, and I would have been disappointed as well.
It happens a lot in the blogging world too, pictures/content being lifted right out of the blog when you have a copyright statement staring at the face.
It isa lot of hard work, and I would totally be furious.

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Francheska said...

I´m so extremely confused by this post!
I understand the concept behind it! that friends shouldnt take something as theirs without giving you credit! and I completely agree with you btw...
Are these all different points of views or...??
Because now I really want to know!
I apologize for my stupidness! :)

Jen said...

Hi Francheska! This is Jen (JH) from Beachy Keen! If you're just jumping into this blog, I can see how it may be confusing. This is an editorial blog that Crystal (CH) and I run. We choose topics that are either meaningful to us or that we think will spark conversation amongst our readers, and then we discuss back and forth. We love for our readers to get involved and share their opinions!!! We hope to see you back soon!

Christy said...

Glad you clarified here because I was confused too.

Anonymous said...

I agree too. A friend of mine who is one of my followers, she had the idea of a blog on her too. I have always had the myspace one but only my friends can see it. Her idea was to start an anonymous blog that no one knew about so she could say whatever she wanted. I and another close friend are the only ones that know about it. When she told me the idea I didn't think anything of it at the time but when I got home I got to thinking about it. In my first posting of my blog I acknowledged that it was her idea and decided to start one too. I gave her the link so she would see it too. It would have been really rude if I had started it and never told her anything, after all she told me about her secret blog.


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